The Social Network is currently winning a considerable amount of critical acclaim (Best Picture: LA Film Critics Association, NY Film Critics Circle, National Society of Film Critics, National Board of Review; Best Picture – Drama: The Golden Globes; etc.). The SF Strangelove capsule review: the opening scene where a fictionalized Mark Zuckerberg (played by Jesse Eisenberg) has a conversation with his girlfriend and she abruptly breaks up with him is well-done. Credit goes to Aaron Sorkin’s screenplay. The remainder of the film never recaptures this level of interest or energy and is lifeless by comparison. If this movie is about the founding of internet phenomenon Facebook, it left most of my questions unanswered. The corporate shenanigans that are portrayed offer little drama.
The Social Network, alas, has a “sex in a public bathroom” scene. It’s a two-for-one scene with two couples in adjacent stalls. Here, I am compelled to describe why this scene is unlikely and unappealing. The public restroom habits of the United States male make frenzied activity hazardous. Since the floor and most other surfaces will be wet with a generous coating of urine, the fancy footwork these sex scenes require would risk a fall, resulting in a concussion or other serious injury. If the amorous couple survives this hazard then, truly, the sights and smells of the male public restroom will be more than sufficient to quell their ardor. The United States male has not learned the courtesy of flushing when he is done. This problem becomes additive, until with time the amount of waste material is no longer flushable and any attempt to do so will cause it to overflow across the floor. The odors and visual impact of the male public restroom are powerful enough to extinguish any thought of sex, sending even the stout-hearted reeling, fleeing from the sensory assault.